Life is really like that .... two sides to every situation .... inseparably one.
Almost everything around me contributes to my life-long depression .... yet the same things are my crutches that enable me to cope with the depression.
Being a parent .... so depressing .... imprisoning ....
Friday, November 4, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The Inexorable Decline
GOIAB
Growing Old Is A Bugga
Every few weeks you notice some small change .... something that hurts a little more than it used to.... something new that hurts ....
Getting dressed is a little harder .... I notice that if I need to get something off the floor .... I now look round for some tool to scoop it up rather than bending over.
The slow decline happens insidiously ... I just realize "Oh ... I can't do that anymore!"
My left hip hurts .... as this slowly deteriorates I ponder whether I really want to go through the pain and difficulty of a hip operation? In the future will the hip be the crucial factor that "tips the scales"?
I am quite sure that there will come a point when I decide that "I've had enough ... I want to go now."
I hope that this time will be reached after our society has accepted that people really do want to control their own existence.
The thought of attending a clinic ... of being able to simply press a button and go to sleep .... This would be so much better than having to escape with car and hose .... Or the mess and indignity of a noose .... Or the uncertainty and pain of drug overdose.
Maybe a trip to Europe ....
Growing Old Is A Bugga
Every few weeks you notice some small change .... something that hurts a little more than it used to.... something new that hurts ....
Getting dressed is a little harder .... I notice that if I need to get something off the floor .... I now look round for some tool to scoop it up rather than bending over.
The slow decline happens insidiously ... I just realize "Oh ... I can't do that anymore!"
My left hip hurts .... as this slowly deteriorates I ponder whether I really want to go through the pain and difficulty of a hip operation? In the future will the hip be the crucial factor that "tips the scales"?
I am quite sure that there will come a point when I decide that "I've had enough ... I want to go now."
I hope that this time will be reached after our society has accepted that people really do want to control their own existence.
The thought of attending a clinic ... of being able to simply press a button and go to sleep .... This would be so much better than having to escape with car and hose .... Or the mess and indignity of a noose .... Or the uncertainty and pain of drug overdose.
Maybe a trip to Europe ....
Monday, September 26, 2011
#384 Tuesday 27 September
The countdown to Bali continues! Kaylia is right into it .... she listens to our conversation all the time .... and when a word occurs (that fits her desires) she latches onto it ..... and we hear a voice! "pool" .... "plane" .... "villa" .... etc
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sharing
This the morning after Lorna's funeral ....
It was a deeply significant day with many strong memories.... strong emotions .... powerful thoughts .
Shared passion is important and not easily forgotten .... tears are a strong passion and when we share tears with another, I think we create a bond that will link us more strongly than many other passions.
Love ..... Hate .... Sex ..... Faith ....
They all bind us when shared.
It was a deeply significant day with many strong memories.... strong emotions .... powerful thoughts .
Shared passion is important and not easily forgotten .... tears are a strong passion and when we share tears with another, I think we create a bond that will link us more strongly than many other passions.
Love ..... Hate .... Sex ..... Faith ....
They all bind us when shared.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Reality of Faith
At present we have a family member who is an adherent to one of the oldest varieties of the body of believers in the Christ. I use this description because all of the varieties call themselves "a Christian church" yet few exist in a form that the founder would agree with (IMHO).
The church structures have evolved and been shaped by three driving factors ....
Firstly a genuine desire to serve the Christ.
Second ... a need to set up a church "structure" that the followers can recognize and be comfortable with ... driven by the socio-historical needs of the followers themselves. In other words, regardless of what Jesus wanted and said, the structure needed to be something that satisfied the emotional needs of the people .... or they would not follow!
Third .... the corrupting influence of the human need to accumulate "power".
Jesus did not want or envisage a church with a formal power structure .... he talked of a one to one direct relationship between himself and any person who believed. His actions showed that he rejected the formal church structure that existed at the time.
Yet humans have taken his concepts of the relationship that is possible with him .... and fitted them into a structure that is essentially the same as the structure he rejected! Each of the formal church bodies has a structure that gives individuals an ability to gather power .... authority over other believers. .... and the chance to abuse that authority! And they have done so! And they still do so!
The church structures have evolved and been shaped by three driving factors ....
Firstly a genuine desire to serve the Christ.
Second ... a need to set up a church "structure" that the followers can recognize and be comfortable with ... driven by the socio-historical needs of the followers themselves. In other words, regardless of what Jesus wanted and said, the structure needed to be something that satisfied the emotional needs of the people .... or they would not follow!
Third .... the corrupting influence of the human need to accumulate "power".
Jesus did not want or envisage a church with a formal power structure .... he talked of a one to one direct relationship between himself and any person who believed. His actions showed that he rejected the formal church structure that existed at the time.
Yet humans have taken his concepts of the relationship that is possible with him .... and fitted them into a structure that is essentially the same as the structure he rejected! Each of the formal church bodies has a structure that gives individuals an ability to gather power .... authority over other believers. .... and the chance to abuse that authority! And they have done so! And they still do so!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Work stress
Over the past twenty years I've worked in about 10 businesses .... In most they were a "basket case" when I started and it takes about 3 months of damage control (to survive) before I can begin to put good systems in place. Usually I feel happy with the results by about 6 to 9 months.
Our own business is causing me as much stress as the worst of the previous jobs! This is largely due to the complexity of the business I've set up ... it's too much!
Our own business is causing me as much stress as the worst of the previous jobs! This is largely due to the complexity of the business I've set up ... it's too much!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Climate change
The current tour of the "mad Monkton" is thought provoking. I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle ground.
I think that the current climatic changes are probably consistent with the changes which have occurred in a cyclic manner over time. This time round we have a change in the variables ... Man.
The methods proposed (to mitigate the effect of man's follies on the planet) are unlikely to produce enough change to be useful .... for the simple reason that the cost of the changes has to be acceptable! In a democracy, if the cost of the change is not 'acceptable' ... or palatable to the masses.... then the government will change. So real change is unlikely.
The logic of the current carbon tax method is very obscure .... how is change going to happen when the polluters are shielded from the effect of the tax? If the consumer is compensated for the rising prices, the buying habits will not change. If the buying habits don't change, the production of goods will not change ... and hence there will be no change in carbon pollution!
The hard truth is that we will never know the truth. Society has no system for accurate, independent verification of truth!
I think that the current climatic changes are probably consistent with the changes which have occurred in a cyclic manner over time. This time round we have a change in the variables ... Man.
The methods proposed (to mitigate the effect of man's follies on the planet) are unlikely to produce enough change to be useful .... for the simple reason that the cost of the changes has to be acceptable! In a democracy, if the cost of the change is not 'acceptable' ... or palatable to the masses.... then the government will change. So real change is unlikely.
The logic of the current carbon tax method is very obscure .... how is change going to happen when the polluters are shielded from the effect of the tax? If the consumer is compensated for the rising prices, the buying habits will not change. If the buying habits don't change, the production of goods will not change ... and hence there will be no change in carbon pollution!
The hard truth is that we will never know the truth. Society has no system for accurate, independent verification of truth!
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