Privacy

In a way, writing the 'public consumption' blog is a form of escapism ..... I fool myself that I'm being 'open'  ... where in reality, it's a carefully screened and sanitised version of our life and my thoughts. 
Everything is weighed for acceptability and safety before it is published.
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One of my problems is that I hide myself away .... to protect myself.  Ever since those bad times at age 10 to 15 I have built a wall round my thoughts and personality .... now

Disabilities

Save me from people who have a disability and refuse to accept that they do!
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To me, the ability to read a map is a pretty basic ability.  To not be able to read a map and not have the ability to find your way from A to B .... that's a major problem in life!  Yet people refuse to accept that this problem is a disability ..... I can't see the logic.
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If you have a disability or a problem ..... and that problem causes inconvenience in your day to day life ..... surely it is worth doing whatever is possible to improve your ability in that area.

Veet

This is an actual review on amazon.co.UKfor Veet Hair Removal for Men...

A. Chappell

This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen.. by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange moans and grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...so to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)

Two sides of a coin

Life is really like that .... two sides to every situation .... inseparably one.

Almost everything around me contributes to my life-long depression .... yet the same things are my crutches that enable me to cope with the depression.

Being a parent .... so depressing .... imprisoning ....

The Inexorable Decline

GOIAB
Growing Old Is A Bugga

Every few weeks you notice some small change .... something that hurts a little more than it used to.... something new that hurts ....

Getting dressed is a little harder .... I notice that if I need to get something off the floor .... I now look round for some tool to scoop it up rather than bending over.

The slow decline happens insidiously ... I just realize "Oh ... I can't do that anymore!"

My left hip hurts .... as this slowly deteriorates I ponder whether I really want to go through the pain and difficulty of a hip operation? In the future will the hip be the crucial factor that "tips the scales"?

I am quite sure that there will come a point when I decide that "I've had enough ... I want to go now."

I hope that this time will be reached after our society has accepted that people really do want to control their own existence.

The thought of attending a clinic ... of being able to simply press a button and go to sleep .... This would be so much better than having to escape with car and hose .... Or the mess and indignity of a noose .... Or the uncertainty and pain of drug overdose.

Maybe a trip to Europe ....

#384 Tuesday 27 September

The countdown to Bali continues! Kaylia is right into it .... she listens to our conversation all the time .... and when a word occurs (that fits her desires) she latches onto it ..... and we hear a voice! "pool" .... "plane" .... "villa" .... etc

Sharing

This the morning after Lorna's funeral ....
It was a deeply significant day with many strong memories.... strong emotions .... powerful thoughts .

Shared passion is important and not easily forgotten .... tears are a strong passion and when we share tears with another, I think we create a bond that will link us more strongly than many other passions.

Love ..... Hate .... Sex ..... Faith ....

They all bind us when shared.