Dratted memory!

In the last post I wrote of the disturbing effect of stirring up the old memories .... the problem has continued and worsened.  I've sought help from the "Helpline" established by the inquiry and it has been good to have an unknown voice at the other end of the phone .....
One bit of advice was that I should write down the memories which have re-surfaced.  This may help to defuse the memories but it will also be good information for the persons who eventually contact me to assess the claim.

So .... more digging.

I'm told that there are some very good ways of dealing with PTSD .... I wonder if the result is worth the trouble it causes?  I've been on this pathway of dealing with the issues for about twenty years now .... in some ways things are much better but in other ways .....
The outside me is probably not much different ... a little more tired and weary ..... the inside me is a lot less of the 'tortured soul' .... but the pain goes on.

why did it start?

how can it end?

Hands reach out ...

imploring,

beseeching.

Hope dies, they draw back ......  resigned ......  defeated

The wind sings its sad song of pain.

The trees bow their branches to join the wind

in its cry of anguish.

The hills stand .....  silent  ........ watching  ........

brooding over the oceans of sadness.